A Conversation With My Mother
CB: I’m just confused. I keep sending out my resume and getting all these interviews but then I realize I don’t really want the jobs I’m applying for. They’re just higher-paying, more boring versions of the one I have now. So then I cancel the interviews and feel bad about myself. And then I think about how I don’t even know what kind of job I actually want and I feel worse. And then I think about how I don’t know what I'm doing with my life and then I just get really upset.
CB’s Mom: Oh sweetie....Don’t worry! You’re going to do great things.
CB (hopefully): Yeah?
CB’s Mom: Sure...you’re going to have lots of little bambinos...and take care of them…and watch them grow up...
CB is silent.
CB’s Mom: Right?
CB: I can’t talk to you about this anymore.
Bambinos?
Besides the totally depressing, non-sequitur nature of my mother's comment, I am:
1. Not engaged
2. Not married
3. Not Italian
The whole scenario reminded me of when I drove back from college with my father, who, sensing the opportunity afforded by having his young daughter trapped for a few hours, began to question me about what I intended to do with my very expensive liberal arts degree.
When I began to look really, really sad, my father swiftly changed tactics and began to enumerate the various career paths I had open for me.
“You can be anything! You could be a teacher...or even a banker...or...um...”
And then I started bawling.
29 comments:
I'm quite certain we'll all be reading your first novel within the next 4 years.
You have a fantastic style; now you've just gotta get a book deal!
I have no comments on what you should do with your life. But your job hunting strategy is very similar to my wife's.
Sadly, most people on the planet are in the same boat.
I think you should go to the interviews anyhow. The job might turn out to be different than you expect.
I thought about cancelling the interview that I had today, but when I got there and they started describing the work in more detail it actually sounded a lot more interesting.
Good luck!
All mid-twenty somethings go through this. Take the higher paying job. That way you can maybe take a course that isn't so "liberal acts" and the company will pay for it. Then you can better yourself at their expense, and then leave for something you really want to do.
I need to take my own advice, *sigh*.
I never comment on your blog, but I had to today. "I am 3. Not Italian". I LOVE IT! Actually laughed out loud, spewing bread crumbs from the leftover garlic bread I'm eating all over my keyboard. I agree...a book deal or comedy writing gig is in your future, CB.
i always ended up bawling when my dad questioned me about the future of my expensive liberal arts degree as well... CB, you are totally the hotter, blonder, chic-er version of me.
great blog, as always.
Definitely a book deal...how about my life story? I've never had the discipline to write it myself...
I have two pieces of advice for you:
1. Read Washington Post career columnist Amy Joyce's book "I Went to College For This?" -- it's about exactly what you're going through.
2. Consider working for a nonprofit for a cause you're interested in. You'll feel a personal connection to the work and actually care about being there. Makes all the difference in the world.
I'm in this same exact boat. I graduated from college 1 year ago and I feel the exact same way!
I graduated three years ago, spent an extra year taking classes because I couldn't cut the cord, and I am now in the exact same boat as you.
Take the higher paying job, as long as the employer is laid back or offers good generalized skill development, or advancement opportunity. At least this way you will benefit from said shitty job.
Think of your current career as Plan Z, rather than "what you are doing with you life". Then figure out where your priorities are, where you'd like to be in five years, and what careers might suit your needs, then figure out Plan A, B and move toward it.
Personally, I work for a bank. If all my (non)plans fall through, I'll at least have a cushy, stable job that pays well, offers room for advancement and gives me great vacation so that I can fuck off and travel for 10% of my year - something I actually want to do.
I still haven't gotten around the minor issue of wanting to gouge my eyes out because bank work is so boring, though.
um, maybe i shouldn't be giving advice.
I am unfortunately just starting the job hunt after settling at my current job out of fear. Feel free to send your fabulous jobs my way! :)
Good luck! You will accomplish great things.
Being out of work (again) I am starting the recruitment agency tour on Monday... God help me.
I often wonder "Who are these people going to work actually....SMILING?!" I work in corporate america, i am the company bitch, and my parents also seem to think i could have done more with my life.
what the hell - you can't please everyone
Oh, the moms. I feel you.
ruby sneakers: how do we know Company Bitch is hot?
I have a feeling great things are in store for you...
anonymous: i have internet hot-dar, obviously.
Hey, you can always do what I've done with my incredibly expensive liberal arts degree.
Er, nothing.
But now I'm headed to grad school in order to get a job that I (hopefully) actually like!
Really, so long as you don't have a morbid fear of debt, it's the way to go...
Just finding your blog today.
Great stuff.
I'm on my 3rd job since graduating 2 years ago. I sort of liked all 3 but they got old so I moved on. I've gotten a 4th one but am waiting to accept it. It has NOTHING to do with my degree and it scares me but 1. It's more money and 2. It would be more fulfilling so hopefully my parents will understand and not think their $50,000 for college went to waste :) I love your blog.
me too riding in the same boat
It could be worse...you could have been a theatre major!
I *was* a theatre major!
art major right here.
i feel your pain.
Psychology degree...with a law degree here. Feel your pain. Just left the most boring, underpaying job at a firm..for one where I'm not even practicing law and really loving my job. I dont wake up every morning and think "HOORAY! WORK!" but I dont want to jump from my window to the street below anymore.. lol!
Advice: 20something sucks. That's all I've got.haha. My plan was.. even if I was bored and in job hell, I wanted to be making enough money..and have enough time to do the things that I actually ENJOY. So, I went after it despite not being sure what my path should be. I've ended up really liking my new job, have more time, make a leetle more money.
As for your mom: Call her and tell her you're knocked up. Act happy. Tell her you have no plans to marry. Say you're naming the baby Suri after Tom Cruise's kid. She'll leave you alone. lol! :)
Hell, all these twentysomethings talking about feeling lost makes me feel INCREDIBLY old. I'm nearing 33 -- and I'm STILL lost. And still unclear as to what I'm doing with my life. And still asking myself so many questions. I've taken leaps and risks and tried to change my life, but sometimes I wonder if I've taken the wrong ones. Then again, I don't necessarily regret my decisions, because they have made me who I am today. And that's not necessarily (entirely) a bad thing!
Um, yeah, that did sound all touchy-feely. But anyhoo, not to sound like a real downer, but it doesn't always get easier! And if you can at least make more money in the miserable job, that's got to be a plus. Because I unfortunately haven't had that opportunity (yet).
1) Philosophy major.
2) Your mom is right.
3) Go for higher paying job.
come across you blog today, interesting reading.
laughing at the mom conversation. we all been there...lol.
=:O)
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